Full Circle Fridays|Week 11: Keys
Author Note: If you prefer to listen or watch instead of or along with -
Check out the YouTube video and/or the Podcast audio.
If you are new to this podcast/blog — this is a perfect episode/post to jump in on. I’m recapping from our most important ‘key ideas’ from past episodes, AND we have a special offer today!
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Today marks our 33rd episode together! I want to thank you all for joining me as we walk our trauma recovery healing journey together. It’s been my honor to speak to you these past episodes, and I look forward to delivering more helpful content to serve you the best that I can. Also, I have been contacted by a few trauma survivors, authors, and other coaches who want to do interviews with me on the podcast. So in the coming future — look out for some “Saturday Specials” where I’ll have bonus content collaborating with special guests right here on the Trauma Survivorhood podcast. Lastly — if you are listening to this episode — I want to offer you a podcast discount on an initial appointment. First steps — schedule your 20-minute complimentary discover call and see if coaching is right for you and if we are a good match to work together. If you move forward coaching with me, you can use coupon code PODCAST33 for your initial 90-minute intake appointment to receive 33% off!
*This cannot be combined with any other discounts or coupons, and must be scheduled and paid for by Friday, April 8, 2022 — so schedule your discovery call soon and let’s get started our journey together!*
Now for today’s episode. I want to talk about some of the keys to even starting, figuring out, and maintaining trauma recovery. Let’s get going! Over the past 32 episodes, you’ve heard me say plenty of “this is super important” or “this is really key” or sometimes I’m fancy and say “this is so paramount” for our healing. Let’s take a look back at some of those. (Many of those episodes are mentioned today. For a few list all episodes, check out the podcast’s website here.)
Way back on the Basics episode, I explained that it is a big key to even recognize that trauma survivors are often disconnected from their mind, body, and their True Self. In the CBT episode, I shared how awareness is really a key step. In fact, I said, specifically to CBT, awareness must be the first step in finding help. In the Four Fs show, I shared how important it is to understand the Four Fs in order to recognize which one(s) you gravitate toward and when you are steering into a Four F response. In the Good Enough post, I challenged you in the importance of being able to recognize the coping skills you developed if you were an under- or over- parented child. Obviously — the theme here is that awareness to your situation, recognizing your abuse or traumas, seeing how it shaped you, and knowing truly how you are now as a trauma survivor are the first steps in really even starting the journey.
During the Flood episode, which was a guided meditation in case of a trigger attack, I said the first key was establishing safety in your body and the space you are in. In Everything & Nothing, I said that mindfulness within your meditation practices is key to begin being present so you can reconnect to your mind and body. In the Humming episode, I stated that Vagus Nerve Stimulation is key to calming anxiety and relaxing the body. The thread tells us that once we can be aware of our current circumstances and our coping skills within our trauma world, we need to shift from constantly being on edge to a state of being present with our body, mind, breath, and finding peace in the present moments. This allows us to reconnect to ourselves, others, and the world around us — which is of course exactly what our trauma disconnected us from. For many of us, this is a practice — either with mindfulness practices regularly, in some kind of self-care practice, or therapy or coaching schedule. The more often we can practice being with our emotions and in our own body, the more apt we are to be able to stay with them when we are triggered. In the Everything & Nothing medication, I quipped that “this is the more important thing you’ll do all day, yet it is nothing at all.”
In the CBT episode, I declared that an important part of the CBT therapy process is to challenge your thoughts with curiosity. This doesn’t just apply to that modality. It is in fact how we must come into our emotions, body, and mind — with curiosity. It is how we coach in our sessions. I help train you to stay curious by being curious for you with lots of questions to help root out how you came to believe things you believe about yourself so we can challenge those feelings with gentleness. That’s why we call Trauma Recovery Coaching client-led because you are leading your own healing, and even when your coach speaks it’s often to ask questions to lead you further into your thoughts or feelings until you find what you are searching for.
In Acne of the Soul, I shared how important it is to give yourself permission to decide what’s right FOR YOU and what’s not. In the Basics episode, I explain how important it is to find a self-care regimen that works for you. In Books, I state that the “process is more important than the destination” when we talk about trauma recovery. I want you to hear that NO ONE can direct your healing. As your coach, my job is not to tell you what you must do, but to tell you some ideas of what you CAN do to help yourself. For instance, I will simply be reminding you that self-care is a must for survivors, challenge you to find something that is self-care, and ask how you are doing with it. What that looks like for you is not for me to dictate. Along the way, you’ll discover things that don’t work for you. There may be certain grounding techniques that make you more activated based on your abuse history. You may not be ready for a particular level of breathing. You may hate yoga. Perhaps you know you have to find a fulfilling career, but you aren’t comfortable to leave a current position. THAT’S the process. That’s what I’m here to help you sort out, to listen as you muddle around your pros and cons lists, to challenge you but then encourage you if something doesn’t work out. We mustn’t be afraid of the process of finding our healing.
In the Basics episode, I said, for certain, that kindness is key. Later in the Kindness, Find Us episode, I double downed that even recognizing we have a self-kindness part is a must. In the Compassion episode, I commented that just by seeing our inner suffering, by looking at it, we can truly understand how important self-compassion really is. There is no easy way to go about this healing road. It’s bumpy, twisty, scary, dark at times, and definitely not a joy ride … and it’s worth it. Along the way, you will fail, falter, and fret. You must learn self-kindness and loving compassion to give yourself the patience and grace you need to do this hard work.
Finally, just recently in the Jubilation episode, I said “it is important to make room for celebration” of the small wins along the way. As your coach, I will never let you run on by a sentence of how you did X or said Y or didn’t do Z and NOT recognize this huge accomplishment. Whether it’s a boundary you kept, someone you said no to, a phone call from a triggering person that you didn’t answer, a new coping skill you used, an old coping skill you didn’t, a healthy risk you took, a complement you accepted, or anything of the like — I will help train you to celebrate your wins by reminding you how amazing you are even when it’s a small thing.
This journey is meant to be walked together. Consider being coached along your recovery path. We’ll find the Keys that work for you and get you set on a smoother, more manageable road. It will be my honor to follow along, point things out, encourage you, challenge you, and cheer for you because you are truly amazing!
